Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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