carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
