i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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