Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
