so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
