she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If that was your dad, he is hot
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i barfeds in our rink
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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