I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he thought i was a dude.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
