dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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