If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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