i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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