This girl is more easily done than said...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
