I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
