My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He shit in the fireplace
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
