Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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