If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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