Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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