apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize