wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
