in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How does it feel to date your dad?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
