Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
