dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
