I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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