i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
