Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
