Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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