forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
