i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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