Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
