Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
