I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
