my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
