Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
