i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
