Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
