she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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