fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Will exercising make me less horny?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize