Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
