i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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