According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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