The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
