i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize