I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize