Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
