mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
