are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
