This is not my ceiling
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
