She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize