Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
