fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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