this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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