Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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