I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
