Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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