After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize