he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
