No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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