Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
