Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
did i just pee glitter
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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