On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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