when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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