I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I need help removing her.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
