I think my fart just growled at me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
