A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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