you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
