her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
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