I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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